okay let’s be real:
I’ve always found it so difficult to accept myself, to the point where my lack of self-acceptance has caused me to believe that I’m not possibly worth much to anyone else.
I need to be thinner, fitter, tanner, prettier. I need longer hair, a bigger butt, a skinnier waist. I need fake eyelashes, fake lips, fake hair, fake nails. Fancy clothes, better car, I need to be more wordly and more “loved” .
But loved by who? I am loved. I am in a seven year relationship which started just before instagram was ever created. Where lame selfies at high angles and over exposed filters were still okay.
I am loved by friends and family and even loved at work. And those I meet day - to - day, if they don’t love me it doesn’t affect me.
So why all of a sudden does it matter what anyone online thinks?
Why is my worth suddenly dependent on a number of people whom I will never meet.
Why are we constantly at a battle with everyone and ourselves to be “the most liked” by people who don’t know to the point where some of us will even PAY to be noticed.
What is it all for?
Why do I find myself criticizing everything about me and how has it come to be something I do in private off of social media?
I see girls who are undoubtedly gorgeous plastered all over the place, and the more exposure they get, the more we see them regularly.
Where on the other hand, real beautiful women who may not have the “perfect” features but are still beautiful in their own unique ways, just cant get ahead. If you can’t get ahead, you are being told you have to conform to a mould, set yourself to a standard before receiving any recognition for your beauty, and by that time you aren’t even recognized for your knowledge or your humour or any other amazing feature you may have because you’ve been pulled so thin that you are only noticed as a goddess with approving physical attributes.
I am CONSTANTLY comparing myself to that group of women. Some days I feel confident enough to understand the difference between inspiration and jealousy, but most days I’m beating myself into the ground because I know I will never be.
But this year is about growth.
This year I am going to try and work on myself, work on bettering myself and accepting myself so that I can finally love myself.
To be honest, social media is the worst fucking thing that could have ever happened. That’s not to say I don’t love it, but I can only imagine what younger girls will be or are feeling who were born into a time where social media networking is so popular.
I will never stop loving Kylie Jenner, and I will never stop admiring beautiful fashion bloggers and fitness models, but it’s time to consider myself just as beautiful and just as worthy.
Numbers mean shit.
Do what you love, be who you want. No one can take that away from you.
My name is Taylor. I am a mindset and spiritual wellness coach helping others shift their mindset and break past their limiting beliefs in order to manifest success for a more fulfilling and high vibrational life.
This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies.Opt Out of Cookies